You’ll like these from Wednesday’s issue.
‘Diet mixers make you more drunk.’ Yep, drinking alcohol with diet mixers makes you more drunk than using sugary mixers. Apparently, also, ‘women are more at risk’ since they tend to use diet mixers as a way of avoiding calories. Well no shit Sherlock. Who’d a thunk it?
The reporting is flawed because what it does is use surrogate markers for drunkenness. No reaction time testing, no blind balance testing, just levels of alcohol in the breath. No mention of decay times for this measurement, no mention at all of what the researchers concluded might be significant. Just ‘Diet mixers make you more drunk.’ Catchy headline, and well dodgy reporting. And the study was carried out in Kentucky, a state not noted for its sobriety.
Next up, a study from the University of Queensland. ‘Apologising is bad for you.’ Really, it is. The researchers ran a series of (quite clever) tests, and found that people who do not apologise have higher self esteem than those who do. Again, no shit Sherlock. Who’d a thunk it?
The report did not establish a causal link between apologising and low self esteem. All it did was show that people with high self esteem apologise less. In layman’s terms, high ‘self esteem’ is called ‘Up yourself.’ No real wonder they apologise less. But there may be a confusion between cause and effect in the journalists’ minds.
Last one. A ‘German neurologist’ (unnamed) has found the ‘Root of all evil.’ Clever, hey? Apparently (I love that word. It’s so useful) there’s an area in the frontal lobe that controls compassion. CAT scans show that in violent offenders, this area is inactivated. Shown films of violence (at this point you may want to doubt the aims and mental attitudes of the research coordinators, since they’ve watched them too,) violent offenders do not activate this area of their brains.
Well no shit, Sherlock. Who’d a thunk it?
But I guarantee you that at no point did the researchers refer to a ‘root of all evil.’ I absolutely guarantee it. It’s journoscience speaking here.