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So here’s tomorrow’s post a day early.

I don’t know about you, but I run into some very odd people in my local. No, that’s not quite right. I run into some very oddly named people in my local.

Let’s see.

Big Kev. He was 35 stone at one point, and hence known as XXXL till he had a gastric bypass

Wonky. He’s also a Kev, and has a curious habit of holding his head on one side

Hippo. His real name is Rob, but he has a company called Rhino Contracts, and was for a while called Rhino. As he has a rather lived in face, with uneven and/or missing teeth, he’s become Hippo instead.

Boo. No idea of his real name. Has MS, and tends to fall over a lot, even though he doesn’t drink. Inventor of the sport of Pub Diving, which he hopes to have accepted as an Olympic event. Tom Daley on dry land

Chopper, or just Chop. Don’t know his name either. He got his nickname from the changing rooms at the local football club. I’ll leave it at that.

Razor. I do know his real name, which is Ray. Called Razor to distinguish him from another Ray.

Burger. His real name is Will. He’s Belgian, short, and wiry, much like Frankie Dettori. So Frankie he became. Then when all the brouhaha broke out about horsemeat in burgers, he became Frankie Dettori Burger, and hence Burger