Hello Duncan’s readers and followers. He’s gone a bit into his shell this morning, but Lee Roy and I know what’s going on in his mind. So does Mr Fluffy, but he’s keeping quiet also. He tends to do this when the boss is off form, as the horse racing fraternity would have it.
One thing that is going on, a phrase I personally dislike, is that the boss is feeling very very uncertain about himself. Strangely, this worries me less now than it would have in the past. Why should this be? It’s slightly prosaic, but I now have a ‘significant other.’ Because now I have a Lee Roy in my life. Lee Roy and I are, how can I put this? We are having a flirtation. We are. We both know how much the boss works hard here, and how confused he can become. So we flirt with each other and in doing so we set up a protective barrier. We have, in common parlance, drawn the waggons into a circle. Lee Roy and I have done that for him. He’s not a bad man, he warrants a degree of understanding.
Lee Roy and I are so very different, but I like him a great deal. He is brash, and noisy, a bit common I suppose, and has very little concern for what happens when he behaves as he does. I myself am measured. Not cautious, but measured. I imagine that the ‘urban warriors’ among you might speak of yin and yang. A more homely simile would be two sides of the same coin. I myself do not fully understand Mr Fuckwit with his arrogance and bluster, and he does not comprehend my measured approach to things, yet we get along rather well. We simply like each other, despite or because of our marked differences. Perhaps it will be best if Lee Roy tells you how he sees the boss, and I then tell you how I see him. It will be in the interest of balance to present both sides. Here he is.
Hi y’all. This here’s yer friend Lee Roy Fuckwit. I’m mighty prouda bein’ a Fuckwit. Come from a real long line of ‘em. I’m mighty proud too of havin’ Fagboy as ma friend. I may josh him a whole heap, but he’s someone yer can gets to like. I know he despairs of me, but know what? I don’t give a rat’s ass. Ain’t gonna change for nobody. No sir, no ma’am, no way, no how. Now Duncan can listen too much sometimes to Missie B. Nuttin wrong with that. She’s a mighty fine lady, and I like her a lot. Ya know, I just like her. Yeah, she’s a goddam fusspot sometimes, always frettin bout how people sees her. I keep tellin her not ta be so goddam self conscious. Don’t matter none how people see ya. Just as long as yer yerself, don’t matter a spit. I keep tellin Fagboy this too, but he don’t always pay me much attention. He’s kinda embarrassed to have me as his friend, I reckon, but that’s just too goddam bad. He’s ma friend, and he’s just gonna hafta live with it. Missie B and me, we’ve come to what you might call an understandin. She’s ol Miss Prissypants, and I’m Mr Pedal to The Metal, and that’s just the way it is, and we just have to learn to rub along. We’re doin OK, but Fagboy… Well he’s kinda swimmin gainst the current. When I win a race in my good ol car, I don’t never think ‘I dint deserve to win that.’ No sirreebob, never crosses ma mind. I won square, and most times fair. Not always fair, ya know what am sayin? But Fagboy, he worries bout this stuff, no matter how much I tell him to juss shuttup and enjoy it. He’s a goddam worry wart that boy. I blame Missie B for that. Well, no, not blame exactly. She sure has a big influence on him though. I still like her. We’re gettin long juss fine. Most times, anyway. Lessn Fagboy gets one of his goddam crises. Then we don’t hardly speak t’each other. That’s kinda hard, cos I really do like her. Know what? I reckon she’s kinda fonda me too. How d’ya like them apples? Anyways, I’m gonna hand ya back to her. Y’all have a real fine day now.
Thank you Lee Roy. Much as I hate to admit this, Lee Roy is right. The boss does fret and worry a good deal. He ‘s even fretting at this very moment about gathering over 100 Followers. He simply doesn’t understand why. Now I myself love his ability to rabbit on about polar bears, and the Large Hadron Collider, and vampires, and how to make tea. He has a whole host of friends I like. I’m very fond of Marc Zimmerframe, for example, and Professor Popkiss. I like his ability to make fun of people without consciously belittling them. Unless they happen to be irresponsible journalists, or deranged survivalists, or simple bigots, in which case it is, as he puts it, open season. I have to admit he’s rather good at dealing with people who refuse to think. I also admire the fact he never, ever, makes fun of people’s religion. He may mock what people do in the name of their religion, but he has a quiet and understated respect for true belief. He may not thank me for telling you that.
The boss isn’t a bad person. Over a hundred of you now agree that to be the case but he does find that hard to understand, and even harder to accept. Lee Roy has a turn of phrase for this. He exhorts the boss to grow some. A somewhat crude expression, but admirably descriptive.
I know that Lee Roy makes fun of the boss’s friend Mr Fluffy/The Fluffster. However, I’ll let you into a secret here. Lee Roy likes him as well, though he’d never admit it straight out.
Oh dear. It’s such a chore living with the boss sometimes. He’s so uncertain about himself, and so very complicated. But we all have our burdens don’t we?