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Here’s the scenario. I’m in my local pub, and there’s someone in there I don’t know from Adam. He’s bigger than I am, younger than I am, probably fitter than I am. Looks a bit tasty, as we say over here; a bit of a scrapper. He then refers to ‘black c****.’

That’s offensive on two levels. Firstly I’m deeply offended by the word c***. I can swear with the best of them, but it’s a word I never use. When my friends use it, I ask them not to, because it offends me. Then we have the clearly racist aspect, which I also find profoundly offensive.

Now I have a dilemma on my hands. Do I just ignore it? Or do I take him on about it? Bear in mind again that he looks as if he can tear my head off and spit down my throat. Best to walk away, surely? That’s the sensible thing to do, isn’t it?

Well I’m not noted for being sensible. I went up to him and said, ‘You can’t say things like that.’

‘What? Why not?’

‘You just can’t.’

He sort of squared up, and I thought, ‘Here we go. A night in hospital.’

But then, a miracle. One of his friends chipped in.

‘He’s right, mate. You can’t say that. You’re bang out of order.’

I got away with it. But what would you have done?

Maid’s day off tomorrow. I hope you all have a good weekend.