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Just a quickie today.

You all know the rules by now, so I’m going to cheat. These examples are of a singular nature. Only one person in the world, or at least only one person I’ve ever met, uses these words or truncated phrases. I still feel them to be worthy of preservation, a bit like Cornish. I don’t know why I feel this. Oh well, never mind, eh? Here we go.

Ongabart

  1. A road junction of unfathomable complexity, such as the Magic Roundabout in Colchester, or the Kodak Roundabout in St Albans
  2. Conversational gambit to allow the speaker time to gather his or her thoughts
  3. To meander or wander aimlessly

Oywamin

  1. Conversational gambit to allow the speaker time to gather his or her thoughts
  2. Something ordered in a Chinese takeaway while dangerously drunk
  3. Intimate lubricant such as KY Jelly

Arley

  1. Nimble, deft
  2. A philanderer
  3. Useful in a fight or pagga. ‘Ee’s well arley ee is.’

And the answers are:

Ongabart

Number 2. I owe my old mate Vince a gold star for this. He was from Stoke, and I think this is a corruption of ‘Hang about,’ with a Stoke-influenced mock-Essex accent.

Oywamin

Numero uno. Number 1. Suffolk corruption of ‘Do you know what I mean?’ Thanks to a certain Mr Flowers, who did my loft conversion, for this one.

Arley

Both 1 and 2 are correct. Nimble or deft as an adjective, philanderer as a noun. I asked my mate Lumper about the origins of this word, which is his and his alone, and they aren’t pleasant. It’s a corruption of the word ‘Harley.’ On top of that it’s an abbreviated phrase, ‘In and out like a Harley Street proctologist.’ For the non-UK residents, Harley Street is an area in London that is awash with private, and very expensively discrete, medical practitioners.

Concealed here is an outright lie. Care to guess what it is? Hint. The words and true definitions are real.

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