Laksa. Fiery Malaysian dish of noodles in a soup or broth made from molten plutonium, with added chillies. Bloody gorgeous. Can sting the next morning.

Lambrini. Alcopop for fledgling Thunderbird drinkers, but it’s there.

Lambrusco. I wouldn’t bath the dog in this stuff, but it is allowed.

Langoustines. Might be the same as crayfish. I like them anyway.


Lapsang souchong. Not on my watch you don’t. This tea tastes like the vomit of a demon. Might be worth a go if you’re dieting. Or bulimic. Nobody will bat an eyelid at you throwing this back up.


Lassi. A drink made of yogurt whizzed up with water, sometimes the addtion of mint and/or garlic. Very refreshing. Might be too healthy for the purist adherents of the Alphabet Diet.

Lemon meringue pie

Lemon upside-down pudding

Lentils. I do like a nice oily smokey daal made with lentils.

Liebfraumilch. If you must. It’s better than Lambrusco, I suppose. Marginally.

Lime pickle. A bit of an acquired taste, but it’s invaluable as an accompaniment to poppadums.

Limpets. Cook these on the embers of a fire, between layers of kelp or other seaweed. Or in beurre noir. They’re good, if a bit chewy.


Liquorice. I hate the stuff, but Janey asked me to put this in. Though come to think of it, I used to be quite partial to the blue speckly Allsorts.

Liver. I do like offal, and I do like liver.

Lobscaus aka lobscouse. Slow cooked meat stew, popular with European sailors. Once upon a time it was widely eaten in Liverpool, hence why Liverpudlians are called ‘scousers.’ Strange but true.

Lobster. Pretty good, but I feel it’s over-rated and more than a tad costly. Best if someone else if footing the bill.


Long Island iced tea

Love Hearts

Lőwenbrau. Dangerous beer from Bavaria. Do not mess with this stuff.

Lugworms. Hideous, but they are edible. Just about. If you’re drunk. Or doing it for a bet.