This is a surprisingly good letter for providing many and varied dietary delights, and for the copious nature of the drinks menu.

Macaroni. (Note. I will not accept any pleas for mac’n’cheese to be included.)

Macaroons

MacDonald’s anything

Manzanilla sherry

Manzanillo olives. These are the mutt’s nuts of the olive world.

Maple syrup

Marguerita

Marmalade

Marrons glace. Self indulgent and hugely calorific preserved chestnuts in syrup.

Mars Bars

Marshmallows. You can have all of those you want. Can’t stand them myself. Though Tunnock’s Teacakes, from my childhood, they weren’t bad. Biscuit and marshmallow covered in chocolate.

Martinis

Maryland Cookies. There seems to be a bewildering array of these.

Matzo balls

Maynard’s extensive range of gelatine and sugar based caries inducers. Wine Gums, Sours, and Midget Gems for example.

Mayonnaise

Mead. Oh, be very careful here. Very careful. This stuff can kill and maim.

Meatballs

Melts. I draw the line at these. I do like offal, yes. I’m not eating testicles. All the more for you of course.

Meringue

Merrydowm cider. Pretty damned good.

Marston’s bitter. Probably the most consistently good cask ale in the UK, and hence the world.

Metaxa

Mezcal/mescal

Milk stout

Milksops. Bread soaked in warm milk, given to infants and the unwell. Where I came from these were known as ‘pobbies.’

Milky Bars, as immortalised by John Denver.

Mint Imperials

Miso soup. Not everybody’s cup of tea.

Mojito

Monster Energy drinks

Moselle

Moussaka

Mozzarella

Mu shu pork

Muffins

Mulligatawny

Mushy peas

For treats, you are allowed as many M&Ms as you can eat. They score nil points during M week. You are also allowed unlimited Muscadet, Madeira, and Marsala to drink. Form the point of view of the diet, at least.