This is a copy of a post I put up exactly one year ago today. I was rummaging about in some files, and found this. I think it deserves another outing.

This story, from the newspaper, made me laugh out loud. I’m a bit more sick than I think.

The setting is Norway. There’s a driver, driving along, minding his own business, tum dee dum dee dum. Maybe even listening to a talking book of some Nordic saga.

You know what the roads are like out there. Miles and miles of not much at all apart from a strip of tarmac surrounded by deep forests.

‘Tum dee dum dee dum…. Hey, these heated seats are really comfy. Pretty good investment. I wonder what’s for dinner? Yikes! Where the hell did that elk come from? In the middle of the road! I really don’t want to hit anything that big. Even a Volvo’s going to come off worst in that close encounter!’[1]

Brake, swerve.

‘Phew, that was close! That was really clo… OHMIGOD! There’s a bear in the road, aaaarrrggggghhhh!’

F/X Screech of tyres. Metallic crunch. Tinkle of glass. Hiss of steam. Ticking of hot metal cooling rapidly.

There is a happy ending. The driver was unhurt, and the bear simply sneered and ambled off back into the trees.

But I’ll bet the insurance claim form would be a laugh riot. The loss adjuster might just be a tad sceptical.

[1] Yes I know Volvo are based in Sweden, but it’s right next door, so there’s no need to nitpick. I’m applying a bit of artistic licence, if that’s OK