I shouldn’t really be here today. But it’s a Bank Holiday in the UK, so of course it’s raining, and I had no wish to deprive my loyal audience of pearls of wisdom. Or my own particular strain of bullshit.

I return once more to one of my favourite topics, surveys and statistics, a rich mine of nuggets of complete nonsense. One survey that attracted my attention over the weekend was one commissioned by an outfit called Flexioffice. I assumed they rent out temporary office space and facilities, and a quick internet search confirmed this. For some reason the head honchoes at Flexioffice decided to find out who are the most disliked and irritating people in the workplace. I’ll make myself clear here. I don’t believe the results.

You might expect the most irritating people to be the ones who don’t pull their weight, the slackers, the idlers, the ne’er do wells.  Our survey said, ‘ Naan naa.’ Apparently the most irritating and disliked people in the workplace are the smartarses, the knowitalls, the ones who know a lot and can smell bullshit a mile away.

An odd prejudice, don’t you think? You’re knowledgeable, so you’re a wanker?

It gets better though. The reporter of the research results, when questioned by the press, stated the following. ‘We recommend taking the results with a pinch of salt.’ There was then some flannel about a ‘healthy mix of behaviours.’

What that tells me is that Flexioffice paid a lot of money to an outfit that polled 1500 Britons to produce results you have to disbelieve, since they recommend that you do. I don’t believe the results, and neither does the research company.

What a great way to earn a living. Money for old rope.