I know I tend to go on about surveys and statistics, but this one is truly puzzling. ‘Recent research’ has shown the levels of sexual behaviour in the UK population aged 70 or 80. Good news is they’re still at it. That leaves a lot of room for optimism for me, a mere stripling of 61.

But, there is an anomaly. According to this survey, 54% of men in the 70/80 age group are sexually active. Hurray! Yet only 31% of women in this age group are sexually active. Either the men are fibbing, or the women are being a bit coy.

Or the 31% of women are at it like knives and banging like a privy door when the plague’s in town.

Not sure what to make of these figures.