This is an obsession for the Daily Mail, which has both a Health and Style section on Mondays, and a Femail section at some other time of the week. I often read both, since I’m amazed that some women, whom I generally hold in high esteem, can be so easily hoodwinked. Yesterday was classic tomfoolery.
First up we had an apparent surefire way to avoid facial wrinkles. This is easily achieved by not smiling. I’m not making that up. There was a whole page article dedicated to a woman who claims not to have smiled for 40 years, having made a deliberate decision to keep her face wrinkle-free by looking like a miserable bat all the time. She allegedly has a great sense of humour, which I find dubious given she takes herself so seriously. She has a good night out with the girlies every Friday. I know we all tend to be tolerant of our friends’ shortcomings, but this one takes the biscuit. I have to assume she doesn’t frown either, or use any other facial expressions. This must make it a nightmare to hold a conversation with her, given that when we talk to somebody the words convey about 25% of the sense and visual cues supply the rest. I bet she doesn’t post many selfies, since the photographs of her I saw would have looked more at home on a passport or a rapsheet. Also I’d hate to be the one who breaks the news that her careful strategy is not as successful as she thinks.
The next bit of flimflam was a two page article on care and maintenance of your eyebrows. I get mine trimmed when I go to get my hair cut, but girlies often take a more rigorous approach. If you followed all these grooming tips you’d never leave the house, given there are only 24 hours in the day.
The last paragraph made me gasp in admiration at the sheer chutzpah of cosmetic companies. Elizabeth Arden will cheerfully sell you a ‘serum,’ which has a pleasing pseudoscientific ring to it, and whose sole purpose is to nourish and encourage the healthy growth of your eyebrows. I’m guessing not many of you have ever lost much sleep over the thought that your eyebrows might be malnourished. If you have been worried though, the boffins at EA will gallop to the rescue.
There is a drawback, naturally. The price. Want to take a guess? Go on, have a stab at it, but remember that EA are not well known for sensible pricing policies. I asked some women to guess how much it might cost, and they reckoned, given Elizabeth Arden’s usual tactics, about 30 to 40 quid.
Wrong. It’s going to set you back £90 to keep your eyebrows glossy and bouncing with health.