This is a nice story, not least because of the humanity of the spokesman’s response. Wayford Woods near Crewkerne in Somerset has seen a rash of fairy doors appearing on the trees. It all started about 15 years ago with a single door. The spokesman is a trustee of the woods, the rather aptly named Steve Acreman. Describing the first one to be found, he said, ‘It fitted perfectly, it had a little turned handle  and inside was a bed. We didn’t know who had done it but we left it there…. But then another door appeared and now it’s gathered momentum.’

Then he goes a little bit jobsworth. ‘We’ve got little doors everywhere. We’re not anti-fairies, but it’s in danger of getting out of control.’ That sounds ominous, doesn’t it? Any statement that contains the word but has the potential to be a bad ‘un. However, the proposed ‘fairy control’ is intended to curb, and I quote, ‘profusion of elfin construction.’ That’s rather sweet. The doors are apparently for children to leave notes to the fairies, but as ever pushy parents have got in on the act and made it into an arms race. Mr Acreman is having none of it. ‘We had a complete fairy fairground arrive but we rejected the planning proposal.’ That’s the kind of self deprecation we need.

More pushy parents, I guess, are behind the profusion of ‘tinsel and glittery stuff,’ and they have had to bring in quality control to remove the worst offenders. ‘…nobody’s admitting evicting the fairies. It’s just that fairy control is required otherwise we’d be covered in fairy doors.’ However the best bit is the rationale behind removing the tinsel and glitter. ‘We need to remember that fairies are very shy and retiring, and don’t like to draw attention to themselves.’ That’s letting children down gently, isn’t it? Neatly done.

This reminded me a bit of the events of 2014, when construction of a new road in Iceland had to be halted because it was feared it would disturb the elves. There was an elf chapel directly on the route. It gets better. A local woman who talks to elves said they were quite happy as long as the chapel was moved to a new site. Since the chapel is a rock that weighs into the ring at about 70 tons, the construction company had to hire a crane especially for the job…

I have remarked before on how bonkers they are in Iceland.