You’ll have noticed a distinct lack of guest rants over the past few months, perhaps in part because people feel they can’t be as ranty as I can. Now my friend Sonja Birgmann has reached breaking point. This is short, to the point, and a powerful indicator of just how pissed off this normally equable person is.

Crushing the Juicebox

There are days where even chocolate, tea, and a cuddle from your cat don’t help. Today is one of those days for me. I want to punch a wall (or a person, but that being illegal, I chose the wall instead.)

Nothing goes as it should. Everything that’s working for normal people, simple things such as writing a simple check for a workshop I gave, is turning out to be an utterly impossible task. The government and phone-helplines keep throwing stones into my face (instead of my path to task completion) and making me angry.

I am a person that needs harmony. I don’t like fighting, I don’t like conflict. But sometimes, my inner berserk just needs to get out and ask the people what the f**k is wrong. Really, is it too much to ask to just answer a simple question with ‘yes’ or ‘no?’ Is it too much to ask to get the money I worked for so hard on time? So I can pay my overdue bills? It seems so.

Right now, a pot of tea, an empty cookie jar and a frightened cat later, I am sitting in front of my computer, finally ranting about things that make me angry. And it’s not easy to make me angry. I’m the person you don’t want to see angry. I probably won’t be angry for another few months. Or at least I hope so. Or else, all of Austria will be short on tea and chocolate and all cats will run in fear from my monstrous cuddles.

Today, I even bought a juice box. A little one for kids, with orange juice in it. And a straw. Just so I could crush it between my hands like a twig. And I don’t even feel bad about the smiling orange on the outside of the box. It looks a bit deranged now, but I don’t care. Crushing the Juicebox is a necessity once in a while.