As if you don’t have enough on your plate as the owner of a feline, something else has reared its ugly head. Ladies and gentleman, allow me to introduce you to feline audiogenic reflex seizures, or the somewhat more catchy Fars. Apparently some older cats develop a sensitivity to high pitched sounds. The chink of ice in a glass of G&T, or the sound of jingling change, can trigger mild seizures. These manifest either as jerky movements or loss of consciousness.

Forgive me if I’m a bit cynical here. This sounds to me to be a complete fallacy. If you’ve ever been a cat owner you’ll know they spend the best part of 24 hours a day unconscious. It’s their ground state. However if you inadvertently wake your moggie, you’ll know about it pretty quick, since the cat will attempt to levitate. This may have the appearance of a seizure, but the fact is that the cat will levitate in such a way as to maximise the number of claws it can get into your legs. It’s not having a fit, it’s simply very displeased with you, and cats don’t let you be unaware of their displeasure. Your pet may even make a beeline for the G&T, since most of them like the odd tipple. Please do not bother telling me it’s not a good idea to let cats at the sauce. I know it probably isn’t, but that never stopped a cat from doing just about anything it damned well wants to. You just have to go with the flow.

As I say, with a cat on your case you have a lot more to worry about than a spurious health scare. You won’t fret too much about Fars when your moggie goes AWOL for three days then turns up acting as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Your missing cat may even have taken it into what passes for its head to actively destroyed all the posters you’ve frantically decorated local lampposts with. Just because it can. People often say that cats have a bit of the Satan about them, but the Lord of Light will give kitties a really wide berth if he has any sense.