An acquaintance of mine has a rather deep pile carpet in one of his bedrooms. It’s a tough job to vacuum it, since his cleaner doesn’t really have the grunt for the job. His neighbour kindly lent him her all singing, all dancing Dyson cyclone jobbie.

When he fired it up, there was a strange rattling sound from the bin where the waste goes. He switched off and looked more closely. In the collector were two toggles off a coat. Since the collector was nearly full anyway, he emptied out all the crap, having first rescued to toggles. When the job was complete he went to return the Dyson, and the toggles.

‘Thanks for the loan. Oh, and I found these in the collector bin.’

‘You didn’t empty it did you?’

‘Twice. I found these the first time, and I’ve emptied it before I brought it back.’

‘Oh no!’

Turns out that the first lot still in the collector contained some of her late husband’s remains, and my acquaintance had just binned them. This leads me to two questions. Why leave your husband’s remains in the vacuum cleaner and not separate them out? Why did you then lend it to your neighbour, in the full knowledge bits of the ex love of your life were still in there, and not expect your neighbour to do the decent thing and empty all the crap before returning it?

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