A Professor David Bainbridge caused a bit of a stir over the weekend. He went public with the contention that, when seeking a partner, men prefer brains over breasts. I’d like to believe he was right, but I’m not wholly convinced to be honest.

I’ll nail my colours to the mast here. I’ve been out with women with barely perceptible bosoms, and at least one who had a cleavage you could walk through wearing a scout hat. I have never, ever dated a bimbo. All the women I like are smart and intelligent, if not necessarily highly educated.

The Prof says that large breasts are generally asymmetrical, and we see symmetry as a sign of good genetic health. He then gets a bit more contentious, and says that men like intelligent women for the reason that they’re likely to be inherently better at parenting. I hid behind the sofa when I read that one. If he’s right about the breasts (and legs) theory, then quite a lot of women have spent an awful lot of money to no good effect, and let’s not even think about the Kardashian arse. Katy Price aka Jordan has blown an awful lot of cash hasn’t she? I bet she’s feeling pretty dumb now, if for no other reason than that she really is.

At this point, of course, the Daily Mail waded into the fray. They hastily assembled a panel of women who work on the paper. All had at least an honours degree, and they represented pretty much the entire range of embonpoint. Not too surprisingly there was no real consensus. Some of the more rabidly inclined wheeled out the hoary old chestnut that men are scared by women with brains, while others disagreed. Well they would, wouldn’t they?

Anyway, the methodology is flawed, isn’t it? Why ask women for their views, when the good Professor was commenting on men’s views? Mind you, I reckon his methodology was flawed too. No bloke in the world, asked if it was brains or breasts, would start dribbling and go ‘Phwoar! I’ll take the knockers any day. She won’t have any time for talking, anyway.’ Even some of the Neanderthals that inhabit the more web-fingered areas of Essex wouldn’t admit to not liking intelligent women.