I don’t generally read the Daily Star, since it’s even more of a rag than The Sun, which is no mean feat in and of itself. However, somebody sent me a link to story that made me larf.
A cabbie in Brighton went to the station to take three men to London. It was a late-night run, so the cabbie rubbed his hands with glee at the thought of the fare. The passengers got in, and off they set. I imagine the cabbie was humming happily to himself in between comment on football, and occasional spontaneous racism. The agreed fare of 140 quid must have made him a very happy bunny indeed.
Some 50 miles later he dropped of the first man, and carried on his merry way. The second man was dropped off a little later, and gave the address for the final drop-off since the third passenger was asleep.
Cabbie duly fetched up at the final address, and waited for the 140 smackers to make his night complete. Sadly, it was not to be. The sleeping passenger turned out to be a fully dressed tailor’s dummy. With no money.
I hate to think of the stick the cabbie must have got from his friends and colleagues. I’d have been merciless with jokes about sleeping partners, sleeping beauties, sleeping policemen… The list goes on. I’d probably have ended up partly forming the foundations of a motorway flyover somewhere, or being fed to the pigs.
In other news, I see that the OED, of all organisations, is actually suggesting that some English word spelling should be simplified to help novice spellers. One of the suggestions is that through should be thru. This Americanisation of the word sets my teeth on edge simply for dumbing down, and it is dumbing down. Hence the inclusion in a post about dummies. Then we have the thorny problem of all the other pronunciations of words with –ough spellings.
I despair sometimes.