Three stories that caught my attention on Wednesday, and not for the right reasons.

The first was a report of an immigration officer who walked free from court. The judge said that the woman’s actions had been ‘silly but understandable.’ I don’t think so. Her boyfriend had been deported as an illegal immigrant. Whatever you think of that as a policy, it is the law. But this ‘silly’ woman decided not to play cricket, hopped over the Channel, and tried to smuggle him back into the UK in the boot of her car. Why she thought she, of all people an immigration official, believed she could flout the law with impunity beggars belief. As it happens she was right, because the judge was a bit ‘silly’ too, I think.

Read about those two idiots from Perse School in Cambridgeshire, and this didn’t exactly raise my spirits either. On a school trip to Auschwitz, they decided it would be a merry jape to steal some of the possessions that the prisoners had. Bear in mind these pillocks were 17 years old, old enough to marry, join the Armed Forces, drive a car. Old enough to vote in Scotland. They knew what they did was a bad thing, but went ahead anyway. They could have got 10 years, but oh no. £170 fine and a suspended one year probation order. As it happens they’ve apologised ‘unreservedly,’ so that’s all right. It’s not though. I’d have banged them up. The headmaster, as stupid as the boys, says wants ‘…to ensure that all necessary lessons are learned.’ What is he drivelling on about? He should have said that the thieving scumbags were going to be expelled as soon as they get back to school on Tuesday.

Then we have the case of the man with dwarfism who impersonated a Dalek and threatened to kill a care worker. Now I know there’s quite rightly a zero tolerance policy, and the cops were called. They Tasered him. A man with dwarfism gets Tasered. The cops must be congratulating themselves on that one.

As it happens, the guy was found guilty of breaching an existing ASBO, and got nine months in the slammer. Nine months for impersonating a Dalek, and no time in chokey for stealing from Auschwitz.