Yes, Mad Vlad is even more barking than we all thought. He recently launched a campaign to eliminate western foodstuffs in Russia. Presumably he thinks they’re a bit decadent.

This barmy campaign reached a low spot, literally and metaphorically, over the weekend with three frozen geese being flattened by bulldozer. It gets better. Over 10 officials were involved.

The geese were seized in a village called Apastovo, about 500 miles from Moscow. Garnished with vegetables and seasonings, they were originally from Hungary, and were snatched in a lightning dawn raid on a shop by no fewer than four stony-faced Culinary Thought Police. Apparently the geese lacked proper documentation. This excuse was actually spoken aloud at the ceremonial squishing. I bet the spokeswoman didn’t feel at all foolish.

Anyway, the geese were placed in a row at a landfill site, and the bulldozer rumbled in to do its thing. The whole episode was filmed. Vlad the Mad has decreed this filming must be done so officials can’t just make off with the contraband for their own use. Obviously the cadres are prone to be a bit corrupt. I imagine all of them have a complete set of bathplugs.

It goes beyond insane. Flowers imported from Holland have been destroyed in the past. This is odd since I’ve never met anybody whose diet includes gladioli, though I did once eat a carnation for a dare. Officials are also considering banning the importation of foreign condoms. We can only speculate as to why these are counted as foodstuffs…..

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