Sorry for the delay, my laptop still isn’t working.

You have to feel some sympathy for Jim McDonough. Firstly he’s a Lego enthusiast. This suggests he doesn’t get out much, and is unlikely to be married. On the upside, from his point of view, he lives in Arbroath, a very attractive place. But of course, as we saw above, he probably doesn’t get to see it that often. Also it’s just up the coast from Stonehaven, birthplace of the deep fried Mars bar, so if he wants some healthfood it’s not too far away.

Anyway, Mr McDonough spent three years building a Lego model of some considerable size and complexity. For some reason he thought it would be a good idea to build a replica of the USS Missouri, a US battleship. You might have expected him to maybe model something made in the Rosyth dockyard in Dunfermline, but hey ho.

His model is pretty impressive, extremely detailed, and a whopping 24 ft long. You wouldn’t want to drop that down the stairs, or you’d be finding Lego bricks with your bare feet till the day you died. The aim when he started out was to set a record for the biggest Lego model ever.

Sad to relate, about halfway through the project, that lifesize model of a Star Wars X-fighter was unveiled. That is truly humungous, and weighs in at about 21,000 kg and used 5,000,000 bricks. But since it was built by the pros at Legoland, I imagine Jim discounted it as a real challenger.

However it all went badly wrong. Just before he fitted the last bricks into place, a rival pipped him at the post. An American enthusiast, Dan Siskind, of Minneapolis, whose creation stands at 25.5ft long got there first. The redoubtable Mr Siskind used more than one million Lego bricks to recreate the 1:35 scale of the USS Missouri. The same ship, but bigger.

Back to the Drawing board for Jim, methinks.