Based on an old blog from way back when I was a tyro.
Several people have commented very kindly on how much they like the minimalist style of my blog.
There are two very good reasons for my less-is-more approach.
The first is that I am terminally lazy. Indolent doesn’t even begin to get there. Nowhere near. If I could get away without breathing I would.
The second reason is a bit less obvious, but bear with me. It’s because I’m a cheapskate. So, you may well ask, why does that stop me making things look pretty? It stops me because I flat out refuse to pay $18 to upgrade to WordPress Pro. I just won’t do it. As it happens I don’t have a debit or credit card either, but that’s neither here nor there. Even if I did, I still wouldn’t, if you see what I mean.
Standard WordPress is the blogging equivalent of cooking brandy. It does the job, but it’s pretty raw. Part of the standard package is a deluge of adverts that take forever to download. I get into my account, then go and make a cup of tea while things settle down. You’d be surprised just how many iPods and iPhones I’ve been specially selected to win. And as for the number of big chested sultry Asian women anxious to make my acquaintance, well, all I’ll say is that there are loads of them.
I use WiFi access, another side effect of being tightfisted. It’s free. Yippee! Unfortunately, with connection speeds measured in bauds per donkey’s age, it all takes time. Species evolve faster than WordPress loads off a WiFi connection. Simply opening a new post is a lengthy process, since there are more adverts that need to pop up before I can get anywhere. A new page creates similar problems; I need another shave by the time that happens. Checking my site stats? I can go and do a bit of shopping as those load up.
Then there’s the danger of trying to close the ads. I tried this once, but only once; even goldfish learn by experience. I’ll get sent to yet another page, extolling the virues of some data storage company, and this page will not close; it simply will not. So then I have to faff about getting back to where I was, by which time the electronc traffic is exceeding the capabilities of my miser’s connection, and things hang for a few minutes while the system catches up.
So as you may be able to imagine, doing anything remotely tricksy, such as changing the theme, or doing some pretty formatting, means I’ll be quite an old man by the time it happens. I’d be bald and toothless. That’s too high a price to pay, I’m afraid. Self, self, self, that’s all I ever think of.
So because I’m an idle skinflint, you’re stuck with the Chateau theme, and I don’t insert internal links to my stored pages. Get over it.