It’s odd how things crop up in groups, don’t you think? Or perhaps it’s just our innate mental function of trying to create patterns.

Anyway, so far this week it’s been good for animal stories, and I don’t mean the rattlesnake selfie gone wrong, nor the drunk killed by an alligator.

First up, we have the hilarious but probably untrue story about CallMeDave and the pig’s head. For those of you not in the know, it is alleged that as part of an initiation rite into a toff club in Oxford, Piers Gaveston, named after the gay lover of Edward II, he had to do something odd involving part of a dead animal. Even if the story’s not true, CMD has been pilloried by no less a Tory stronghold than the Daily Mail. He will be forever remembered as the man who performed ‘a lewd act ‘ with a pig’s head. This has led to some very funny stuff all over the internet.


Unfortunately it’s distracted people from the litany of incompetence of CMD and his toff cronies, not least the debacle over the Middle East policies that fell at the starting gate, and his ‘naive’ stand on defence matters. Then there’s Cameron’s knowledge of the tax dodging status of the biographer, Lord Ashcroft, who just also happens to have swelled Tory coffers to the tune of £8,000,000. Enough to make anybody turn a blind eye, I’d say.

On a less serious note, I bet most people have never heard of Richard John Balson. He also has an in depth knowledge of pigs’ heads, but not in the way that CMD is alleged to have. He and his family run the oldest family business in the UK, a family butcher’s shop in Bridport. They’ve been in business for 500 years. To put this in context, Anne of Cleves was born that year, and Wolsey became Lord Chancellor. Quite a heart warming story.

This next one isn’t heart warming, it’s just weird, but since it involves PETA* you have to expect babblings from the lunatic fringe. They’ve filed a lawsuit in San Francisco. Nothing unusual there really, since this bunch of muesli munchers file lawsuits more often than most people change their socks. But this truly is barking. They’re trying to get copyright assigned to a macaque monkey. No, I didn’t make that up. They want the copyright on the selfies it took to be the macaque’s, and not David Slater’s. He was the guy who set things up.

Lastly, the ‘growing campaign’ (Daily Mail) to ban the use of wild animals in circuses. I touched on this earlier, but it’s worth another mention in the context of the Middle East/refugee crisis, two billion pound bungs, people committing suicide after dodgy ‘fit to work’ rulings from IDS’s bunch of hatchetmen who have been dabbling in things they don’t understand, the plans to flog off housing association housing stock, numbers of children in the UK living in poverty blah blah blah. The House has more important things to worry about.

But it won’t. It’ll worry about fracking licences.

*People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I have mentioned them before. Admirable aims, bonkers methods.