I’ve decided, after the success of Monday’s post about omelette on a stick, to continue the culinary theme. Specifically I want you to be made aware of some of the stupidity in the world of food and drink, where people with more money than sense hold sway.

I can just about see the point of shelling out £470 for a bar of chocolate that has its roots in Scott’s ill fated Antarctic expedition. Yes, almost reasonable. For some reason though, a biscuit from a lifeboat off the Titanic makes me a little uneasy, even if we forget the fifteen grand price tag. Seems a bit ghoulish to me.

Then we have the almost endless opportunities for fraud afforded by celebrity collectable eats. A sum of £4,500 will buy you a bit of wedding cake from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s nuptials. You’ll need to dig a lot deeper if you want a slice from the Edward/Wallis Simpson extravaganza; you’ll need a further £12,500.Yes, £17.000. For a bit of cake. That came from a wedding of an ardent Nazi supporter. Allegedly.

There may be a problem with proving provenance, mightn’t there? It’s not as if either couple could individually sign the baked goods, and if it’s in an authorised special edition takeaway box, that’s just plain tacky in my opinion.

Now we enter the gates of Bedlam. This is ostentation and bad taste, in both senses, run riot. What sort of idiot would pay £230 for a Cornish pasty? I don’t care if the beef is from a hand-reared herd in Japan. Pasties are simple fare for working class people down a mine, not posh nosh for nobs.

I’m not going to lay down 500 quid a kilo for another Japanese delicacy, Densuke black watermelon. Nobody can convince me that any mushroom, including matsutake, is worth £1,400 a kilo. I’m not buying that in any sense of the phrase.

Still on mycological lunacy. Would you pay £100,000+ for 1.5kg of Italian Alba truffles, even if they are foraged by specially trained pigs?


I’d expect the pigs thrown in as part of the deal. You could buy a Nissan GTR and still have about forty grand left over for a deposit on a house and a bloody good holiday.

If you go on holiday, Serbia’s nice this time of year. While you’re there, they’ll stick you for £734 for a kilo of cheesy comestible made from donkey’s milk in the Zasavica Nature Reserve. I like cheese, but not that much I don’t.

Utter madness.