It’s been a tricky week for the electronics industry.

Apple have designed a brand new headphone/earphone jack for the eagerly awaited iPhone 7. I say eagerly awaited, but in reality it’s unlikely to do anything more than offer even more apps nobody needs. Some 80% of downloaded apps are used only once, so not much point in having them, is there?

The new jack is surplus to requirements too. The current, universal jack is perfectly serviceable, and eminently fit for purpose. But a new jack design will force buyers of the new (superfluous) phone to buy new earphones as well, at some exorbitant cost no doubt. Then there’ll be many thousands of useless earpiece sets cluttering up landfill for millennia to come.

Let’s journey now to Las Vegas for this year’s Consumer Electronics Show. This attractant for the nerdy has been running for 50 years now. Two things I have read about strike me as totally unnecessary, but I’ve no doubt they will sell. Both rely on phone apps. I don’t even have a phone, but hey ho. I’ll just have to be deprived.

One thing I’ll be deprived of is a ceiling fan you control via your phone. You can even do things to the fan while you’re out of the house. Exactly why this would be useful I simply can’t fathom. I can sort of see the idea of controlling your heating or aircon remotely, so you can get your abode to the right temperature before you get home. But the point of remotely controlling a fan is what exactly? And if you’re so bloody bone idle that you can’t be arsed, when at home, to get up and alter the fan settings, then the health app on your phone is redundant too.

This next one is a doozie. There’s a fridge you can monitor via a phone app. It will tell you if your milk is off. Very handy. I just smell to see if it’s off. It will warn you when you run low on supplies. Me, I just open the door and have a looksee. It will tell you if things are getting to their ‘Use before’ date. Alternatively you could just read the packaging, couldn’t you? But you may as well not bother, as I have said in the past.