I owe a huge debt to Sarah Palin. She afforded me almost limitless amusement in her unsuccessful attempt to get elected alongside McCain in 2008, where her sheer dumbness could bring tears of laughter to my eyes. And now the soccermom pitbull with lipstick is back with a vengeance.
Her rambling incoherence in her speech in support of The Weave earlier this week was an object lesson in incomprehensible gibberish. Wonderful stuff indeed. As it happens this prompted the UK press to resurrect some of the schoolgirl howlers from her earlier career path.
Back now to 2008. She was asked what newspapers she read. ‘All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me all these years.’ That’s evasive even by politician standards.
In the same year, she was asked how the economic crisis would affect the McCain-Palin policies. ‘And how long have I been at this, like five weeks?’ This was in front of a television audience estimated to be 78,000,000.
This is a favourite of mine from 2009. ‘If God had not intended us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?’ This has the advantage of a/ being riotously stupid, and b/ evidence of her belief that religion has a place in the government of the secular USA.
This was funny in 2010. Asked how she would handle Korean hostilities, she hummed and hawed a bit then came out with this piece of fatuousness. ‘But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.’ She and The Weave should get on famously when discussing foreign policy, because he knows bugger all as well.
Asked about polls in 2011. ‘Polls? Nah, they’re for strippers and cross country skiers.’ I think that’s actually a not bad joke, but I’m not sure it was meant to be one.
Still in 2011. At a motor cycle rally in Washington DC. ‘I love that smell of the emissions!’
A particularly good year was 2014. ‘People are looking at Putin as one who wrestles bears and drills for oil. They look at our president as one who wears mom jeans.’ Now this suggested to me that she rather admires the Russian lunatic. But wait! I may have been wrong, because here’s the best quote ever on how Obama should deal with Putin. ‘Mr President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.’ She presumably thinks that The Weave is the ideal guy to have with his finger on the big red button. I have my doubts about that.
The good news is that her stupidity and lack of knowledge and insight helped scupper McCain. We can only hope she does the same to that bloke with the awful hair.
It’s good to have her back.