My mate Kev is to blame for this.

We were discussing the worst places in the UK we’d ever been to. We made an agreement. We had to have actually been there and had a poke around. We couldn’t simply dislike somewhere just because it has an incomprehensible one way system. That eliminated cities such as Bath, Bristol, and Norwich, all of which are lovely places with crap traffic systems. So we then came to the idea of places we would not want to live.

This will be a partwork, and it will, by the miracle that is WordPress scheduling, appear on Maid’s Day Off.

And it’s really going to piss off people in the UK. But no worry. I’ll get to mainland Europe at a later stage. And just wait till I get to the US. You’ll love it when I get to you lot.

Places beginning with A


Kev has the floor here.

’It’s so f****** awful even the ducks f****** off.’ I couldn’t have put it better myself. Priceless.


Home of the Eurostar/Eurotunnel terminus. Hideous. At least it’s easy to get out of by train or via the M20.


Sits uncomfortably in the hinterland ‘twixt Blackburn and Burnley, is utterly crap, and home to Accrington Stanley football team.


It’s in Cheshire, looks as if it should be in the Midlands, and is simply awful.


Some North Wales seaside resorts are lovely. Llandudno is charming. Abergele isn’t.