Oh woe is me. The House of Windsor has had a rough few days. You can’t help feeling sorry for some of the wealthiest people in the UK, because some oiks are being simply beastly about them.

The week started with a bang for Prince Charming and St Kate the Blessed. They were snapped playfully chucking snow at each other while skiing with Georgie and Lottie. No big deal, really, though it did make the front pages of both The Times and The Telegraph for some unfathomable reason.

Then the crap hit the fan, thrown by, of all papers, the Daily Mail, normally staunchly royalist, and The Sun, which does have a bit of a reputation for throwing brickbats at Madge and her gang.

The basic attitude of both these rags was that Wills is a time wasting skiver, why does he only work 20 hours a week, how come he can go on another holiday, blah blah. I’m paraphrasing a bit here, but the pages were wet with metaphorical mouthfroth and bile.

I’m no big fan of the royals, though on balance I prefer them to a presidency, because that would hand Pigshagger the keys to the country, and he’s bad enough already without any encouragement. My major objection to them is that I don’t give a rat’s arse about a skiing holiday, and I see no reason at all for their holiday snaps to be on the front page of national newspapers, though of course that’s a term you can only loosely apply to the Mail and the Sun. The Times and the Telegraph qualify generally, but the royal obsession makes me wonder.

Then The Sun went for Madge herself on Wednesday. They claimed that she was in favour of leaving the EU. The basis for this claim was an alleged conversation with the dimwitted turncoat Nick Clegg, and this natter took place in 2011, so it’s not exactly ‘Hold the presses!’ stuff, is it?

If it’s true, then the Queen has broken with the tradition of keeping her mouth shut about politics, which is a strange choice for somebody who is nominally the Head of State. Meanwhile Dimbo swears he has no recollection of the conversation, but he’s so thick I’m surprised he can remember how to tie his own shoelaces. He makes the average Hugh Grant character look like a Nobel prizewinner, so his protest is brought into some question.

Anyway, Elizabeth Regina has thrown a paddy and written to the Independent Press Standards Authority to stamp the royal foot. Real, ‘Orft with his head!’ time. Meanwhile The Sun is vigorously defending the story and is intending to contest the complaint.

This should be fun.