Two very cheering events over the past couple of days.

Firstly, England won against France in the rugby Six Nations. If you aren’t English, you cannot possibly understand the extreme import of this. You can’t, and I cannot explain it to you. You’ll just have to take as read the extreme antagonism. I’m not even much of a sport fan, but even I despair when they get one over on us. They didn’t, so haha, England Grand Slammed it. The End.

Then it got better. Odious, having resigned on Friday, had the sheer gall to appear on The Andrew Marr Show, where he made the huge mistake of defending his resignation on the grounds that he could defend the billions of pounds worth of cuts to disabled benefits, but could not defend them being made in a budget that made the rich richer and the poor f***** over. I paraphrased that bit.

The generally (but not invariably) admirable Mr Marr harpooned him, dragged him aboard, gills gaping, and Odious then did a very good impression of thrashing about  like a gaffed fish.

It was like a circus where the clown gets a pie in his face. A fat, smug face atop a tie that looks as if he got dressed in the dark.

He’s such a f****** and I’m so glad he’s gone.

I feel a bit sorry for Stephen Crabb, his replacement. Nobody’s ever heard of him, and now the poor bastard has been handed a poison chalice. He’s going to have Gorge whip the rug out from under his feet in the face of backbench pressure, and that’s his career over. Nose against the window of the toyshop in perpetuity.