I had a bit of trouble here. I was tempted by Ely and Exeter. Not that there’s anything unpleasant about either; I liked them both a good deal after only a short exposure to their charms. But they’re both a bit of a bastard to get to; they are, as my character Charlie once said about Aberystwyth, ‘In the middle of f****** nowhere.’. This seemed to me to fall into the ‘crap one-way system’ school of thought, so I didn’t include them.

Places beginning with E

East Grinstead

East Grimstead more like. There some nice places around there, but the town itself will have you reaching for the razorblades.


Despite being in Hampshire, it’s not nice, like s smaller version of Basingstoke. Rhymes with beastly, and nearly rhymes with ghastly.

Ellesmere Port

Nice place to go if you like oil refineries. Trip Advisor has a list of ‘Ten things to do in Ellesmere Port.’ I’m surprised they found ten. Gazing in wonder at the flarestacks at night maybe?


Locals will tell have you believe it’s in Kent, but they’re lying. It’s part of Bexley. Not nice at all.


Not a bad looking place, but full of insufferable, well off snobs wearing golf trousers.