I am indebted to Klarissa Kocsis for the comment that led me to write this.

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To whom it may concern.

I have now reached a mature station in life, and have been using the English language for all of my years apart from when I hadn’t learned to speak.

I have also been writing the English language since I learned to write. I have an O level in English Language, and a Grade 1 Use of English qualification. For many years I wrote technical and scientific reports. For some more years I was a scientific editor, and later worked in regulatory affairs in the pharmaceutical industry.

My point is this. I can spell English words. When your system attempts to correct me, it’s because the system cannot spell English words, it can spell American words.

Hence if I type recognise, I do so because that’s the way I spell the word. Yes, recognize is acknowledged by the Oxford English Dictionary, but I find it inelegant. I find all the z forms of verbs inelegant, so please stop asking me to change what is completely correct.

I find the word analyze to be irksome and completely indefensible. The root of the word is the Greek lysis, meaning to split. Analyze is therefore both inelegant and illogical. This is made even more irritating by the fact that the noun analysis is used, when logically it should be analyzis.

A specific comment to Google. When I search carburettor, do not ask me, ‘Did you mean carburetor?’. No I didn’t, or that’s what I would have searched for.

Now to WordPress. I compose all my blogposts in Word, and run the Spillchuck function. My set language is UK English. Therefore when I Copy and Paste, I don’t want all the bloody irritating squiggly red lines telling me you think I’ve made a bish of spelling. I haven’t.

Listen to me. There’s a clue in the name of the language. English. It originated in England. Therefore we have bragging rights. We’re the top dogs, the final arbiters. Take your squiggly underscores and stick them.

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