I know, I know. But sometimes things of such arrant inutility crop up that I’m tempted to rip out my hair.
Forget the wi-fi controlled juicer and the delivery drones. Forget the 900 quid baby stroller. Now we have the 299 quid hairdryer. Yes Sunny Jim Dyson and his merry boffins have ‘revolutionised’ the hairdryer using the same Air Multiplier technology used in Dyson vacuum cleaners and hand dryers. As you may be aware, the hand dryers work by stripping off your skin so the water has nothing to stick to.
Apparently the new gadget has a motor that is six times faster than anything else on the market. It has sensors that read the temperature of the hair being dried 20 times a second. Acoustic engineers have been busy little bees too, to keep the racket down. All to dry your luscious locks.
Somebody from Mintel, the market research outfit, came up with a glaring statement of the bleeding obvious. After some blather about women looking for products and appliances that are less damaging to the hair, we get this nugget of wisdom.
‘At the same time, the £300 price mark is quite high; that might go against it.’
Well no shit, Sherlock. Do you really think that might happen? I once bought a car with four new tyres, a new battery, a year’s tax, and a year’s MOT for less than that.
I’m happy to say the i agrees with me on this being a bit OTT, and goes into one about some of the other bits of idiocy you can get you’re your impeccably manicured hands on.
The gold plated, diamond studded Apple iPhone 6S, for which Brikk’s will charge you a nice round 100 gees. Bugatti, the luxury car maker, will rob you of £4500 for one of their gold-plated coffee makers. I bet it’s not even dishwasher safe., but if you have that sort of dough you can afford to employ somebody simply to clean up after your morning cup of kopi luwak.
Then there’s the internet fridge from Samsung, with wi-fi and an 8” touchscreen to allow you to surf. While standing at the fridge. A snip at a mere £2500.
The Geberit toilet that will wash your arse for you, and dry it, all for the same money as the coffee maker.
Don’t get me started on the fishtank washbasin from Opulent. A tad over three grand to wash your mitts in a basin where the transparent outer compartment contains your loving guppies.