For as long as people have been able to communicate, there has been a raging debate twixt women and men as to which hurts more: childbirth; or being kneed with extreme prejudice in the nads. It now seems this argument can finally be laid to rest.

At an empirical level, it’s always seemed a no-brainer. No man who has been landed a real goolie crusher ever wants to repeat that experience. Never. Ever. Women who have given birth, on the other hand, are often quite willing and indeed eager to go through the whole experience again. Ergo, QED, and all that, it hurts more to be kicked vigorously in the nuts than it does to give birth.

It now seems that this instinctive reaction may have a foundation in science. A survey was performed by the video parenting channel (Huh? Wassat?) Channel Mum, and the Positive Birth Movement (Huh? Wassat?). Over ¼ of mothers ‘love’ being in labour. Two thirds of mothers describe giving birth as a ‘very positive experience.’

Here’s the kicker. Up to 6% of women have what is referred to as ‘obstetrical orgasm.’ That’s pretty good evidence, I’d warrant, because no bloke ever, in the entire history of the world, had an orgasm when royally smashed in the testicles.

However, as with all surveys, we need to adopt a cautious approach to the statistics and apparent results. Firstly, the spokesperson for Channel Mum is Siobhan Freegard. She the sparkplug and cheerleader for Mumsnet. If you have never visited this website I suggest you do. It’s all about mums being evangelically enthusiastic about how great they are at being mums. It’s a maternity backslapping site, in effect. And nobody, but nobody, ever has a bad word to say about being a mother.

We might, then, reasonably expect some bias in both the structure of the survey, ie how were the questions phrased, and the reporting. Here’s a comment by Ms Freegard.

‘No other lifechanging experience has such a bad reputation as giving birth.’

Now if you want to talk the experience up as life affirming as well as life changing, you’ve got a vested interest in skewing the survey, haven’t you?

‘With more and more women coming forward and sharing their birth stories, mums-to-be are getting a much more balanced picture…’

I somehow doubt that. Women who contribute to Mumsnet and other sites want to be seen as all-conquering superheroes, so any survey involving them is likely to be skewed. The picture then isn’t more balanced, but conforms more closely to what Mumsnet wants to believe in and preach.

Just saying. That’s all.

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