This was not as easy as some letters have been, but my natural bias and prejudice stood me in good stead once more.

Places beginning with I


It’s not bad, really, except it’s in Yorkshire


An absolute arsehole of a place. It’s another port town.


Part of Salford. Not the posh bit of Salford either. It does have a nice church, though, but you don’t need to live there to see the house of the Lord


Of historical interest only, since it’s still living in the 1780s, which is when the bridge was built. Not far from Telford, and within gobbing distance of Wolverhampton, both of which I shall assassinate later. However, it’s also fairly close to Shrewsbury, which is very pretty and allows you to make out you’re Father Cadfael

Isle of Sheppey

Another ‘God this is an awful place.’ It’s no longer even a proper island, unfortunately

Isle of Thanet

Ian Dury of Blockheads fame wrote a song featuring a girl called Janet, who came from Thanet, and ‘She wasn’t arf a prannet’. Had some strange sexual habits when high on black bombers


Nope. Another dumping ground for excess fuel from aircraft coming into Heathrow

Places beginning with J


This is the only town beginning with J that I have been to, so I decided to include it with the Is. A town of indescribable ugliness, and apparently the most deprived area in England. I can well believe it. If you want a depressing read, try this on for size