I’m not talking about Pigshagger’s performance on television, nor Farrago’s jingoistic bombast in the same ‘discussion,’ which wasn’t a discussion at all. I think PS was scared to go head to head, and I rather suspect some of the ‘questioners’ were stooges to allow him to bang on yet again about the completely fictitious likely economic effects of leaving the EU. He really doesn’t know, because nobody does, but in common with my good self, he never lets ignorance stand in the way of a rigidly held opinion.

No, I was a bit disappointed in the i on Wednesday. I think I’ve made clear my liking for this newspaper, but now and then it can make me roll my eyes and sigh. I’m not talking about about the thousand quid baby buggies. Not about the fact that there’s a fashion section six days a week. How can trends change so fast? I don’t get it.

No, sometimes the quality of the news disappoints, and Wednesday was a case in point.

Firstly there was a page 3 short about the fact that Hugh Hefner has sold the Playboy mansion to his next door neighbour. The story then got fleshed out on another RHP, 19.

Who gives a rat’s arse about an ageing pervert who made his money selling titshots? Forget all the ‘quality’ columnists and editorial content, it was the nipples that men were after. No amount of bluster can airbrush (did you see what I did there?) that out of the picture. And I give even less of a rat’s arse about him selling his den of debauchery.

Then some more tomfoolery I don’t expect from this paper, again with a page 3 teaser and another RHP longer version. Some blithering idiots at a shopping centre in Glasgow have called in ‘paranormal investigators’ after four sightings of a ghost, a woman dressed in black costume from some unspecified period.

There’s a horrible fascination to crap like this, and it always amuses me to read the opinions of the charlatans who prey on the dimwitted and gullible. Here’s a snippet for you. ‘It’s not uncommon for a spirit to be attached to a site. Perhaps (the shopping centre) or the construction of a new cinema disturbed it. This can be common in hauntings.’

Well, firstly, it’s either common or it’s not. No ‘can be’ about it. Secondly, I’m calling bullshit on this farrago of nonsense.

A spokesman for the centre said, ‘…we are taking the sightings extremely seriously.

WHAT? WHY?

Then it gets really smelly.

‘We have reached out to local experts…who will hopefully be able to shed some light on the matter.’

Ignore the flawed grammar. What does ‘reached out’ mean? This is the sort of satanic language I blame on PS and all the rest of the politicians who can’t be straightforward any longer. I suspect that particular piece of rot crept in with The War Criminal and Alistair ‘I never did that!’ Campbell, the spinmeister who escapes scot free in the Chilcot report despite fabricating tales of WMD that didn’t exist.

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