I have had a fairly ranty week, so I’ll go out in style. Tomorrow there’s another in my epic series on places I don’t want to live, but today a piece of blithering dimwittery of literally Biblical proportions.

Before this week I was vaguely aware of the state of Kentucky. My knowledge was pretty much limited to the famous racecourse and the track record of a nag called Secretariat.

I was unaware of the existence of the town of Williamstown until this week. I’d heard rumours of some wackjobs building a full-scale model of Noah’s Ark, and lo! This Disneyligious attraction opened this week.

This ridiculous edifice is said to be made to the measurements given in the Bible. What that means is the builders have guessed at what it might have looked like had it existed, which it didn’t.

When you’re inside you can see how Noah and the boys managed to cram in all the animals. This includes dinosaurs, since these present-day dinosaurs are convinced they coexisted with humans on a Planet Earth that is a mere 6000 years old.

One thing that has always puzzled me is how Noah et al mucked out. This must have been a 24 hours a day task that made Hercules’s labours in the Augean stables look like a cat’s lick and a promise.

I digress. Back to the idiocy. Kentucky is the fourth poorest of the United States. I knew that. Yet this $122,000,000 piece of pointlessness was state funded. Explain that to me. I’m all ears.

Now, the construction. Nobody knows how the original was built, because it never was built. However, I think we may rest assured that, unlike Ken Ham’s work crew, there would have been no access to seven pieces of heavy lifting gear and some earthmovers, as shown in this photograph. I’m indebted to the Ark Encounter for fessing up by using this droneshot on the website.

ark

If you thought things couldn’t get any dumber, you’d better buckle up.

There’s a Biblical zipwire ride. You can have a meal in a Biblical food court. You can pet Biblical animals in the petting zoo. If I was a child I’d be bitterly disappointed there are no dinosaurs in there.

Lastly. Mad Ken has specified that all the staff who work there must be practising Christians. Odd that, Noah and his family weren’t, since according to my calculations Christ didn’t appear for another few thousand years after the putative date of the Ark.

Still, not quite as mental as that dimwit on FB last year saying that dinosaurs couldn’t have been around millions of years ago because the Earth is only just over 2000 years old. ‘Look at your calendar!’ she’d shout.

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