Before Sunday I’d never heard of Isabel Spearman, and I certainly had no idea of what her job (loosely applying that term) is or was. It turns out she organised Pigshagger’s wife’s diary, and was also her stylist. The job of titivating Sam’s appearance is valued so highly by Pigshagger that he’s awarded her a gong, an OBE no less, in his resignation honours list.

Ever heard of Bernard Kelly? No matter, Pigshagger hasn’t either. He’s the 77 year old who tackled the man who stabbed MP Jo Cox to death. No gong for him. Should have gone to Eton, because if he had he might have ended up like Gorge as a Companion of Honour. Not often you get to see ‘Gorge’ and ‘Honour’ in the same sentence, so there’s novelty value if nothing else.

The honour was created in 1917 by George V, and only 65 individuals can hold the title at any one time. The self-satisfied Etonian is in some good company at the moment, being right up there alongside Stephen Hawking and Peter Higgs, to name but two.

A CoH is awarded, or was until this weekend, to people in various walks of life whose work has been of ‘national importance.’ Let’s see about that.

Gorge’s work was so important that TIPS shoved him out of the Cabinet as she went through the door of Number 10, and he popped out of the door of 11 so the whole shooting match looked like a very expensive weatherhouse.

This was a little unfortunate, since he never got to put into practice his fictional bogeyman threat of a £30Bn emergency budget in the event of a Leave vote in the referendum.

He also presided over the Hinkley Point fiasco, intending to use Chinese money to pay a French company to build a nuclear power station based on a design that has never worked properly since it was developed. As a lure, he offered £2Bn of cash from what he refers to as ‘hard-working tax payers’ as a guarantee. I never got that. Investment is a risky business. That’s the deal. There are no guarantees. Unless you have a toff at the reins.

By the way, congrats to TIPS for putting the brakes on the whole thing. That’s pissed off the French, which is usually something to aim for, and seriously pissed off the Chinese, who are finding the perfidy difficult to deal with given the UK blocked the proposed EU tariffs on cheap imports of steel from China. They should have known you can’t trust a toff not to go back on an agreement.

The last piece of his nationally important legacy came into force this week with the abolition of maintenance grants for poorer university students, and replacement of them with even more loans. His reasoning was that it was unfair for the better off to have to pay more than the less well off for their education.

Meanwhile Pigshagger has rewarded failure elsewhere by giving 120 grand or so to each of his referendum advisors. The ones who failed to get him the Remain vote are being given tax-free sweeteners to help them adjust to life in the real world, because Pigshagger reckons it’s not their fault they lost their jobs.

Advertisements