It’s taken me a couple of days to get round to this, but my loyal followers will have been fully aware I wasn’t going to let this go quietly.
On Monday, Pigshagger resigned as an MP, despite declaring just after the referendum that serving his Witney constituency was ‘an immense privilege’ and vowing to soldier on. It won’t surprise my foreign readers to learn that Witney is a largely Toff enclave in Oxfordshire.
I almost admire his sheer chutzpah. Almost. Said he wouldn’t resign as PM if there was an exit vote (he did), refused to believe the vote could possibly go against him (it did), and because of that belief even refused to allow the Civil Service to do any preparation for if the sky fell (hence they didn’t, and it did). He did a runner leaving the country to face one of the biggest upheavals in recent history, and washed his hands of the result of his incompetence and hubris. You have to laugh at his self-created downfall. I do, anyway.
What awaits this rodent from a sinking ship? I imagine a lucrative future beckons on the after dinner speaking circuit. Bliar’s done rather well out of that. If I were designing the programmes for Pigshagger’s presentations I’d be tempted to title the speech, ‘How to be a mendacious loser.’ He lost his job as PM because he gambled on the promise of a Referendum keeping enough Tories away from UKIP that he’d win the election, and that the vote would be Remain. Thatcher in Posh Shoes is now at the helm and being beastly to him, poor lamb, but instead of lending a hand to sort out the shitstorm he created, he heads for the hills.
I also guess his autobiography is being ghosted even as I write this post. Expect to see it soon on the bookshelf of a charity shop near you.
On a more heartening level. The proposed constituency boundary changes would see Gorgeous George lose his seat. How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle, as Samuel 1:15 would put it.
I’ll miss him when he’s gone, because I’ll no longer be able to larf at the look of dumbfounded disappointment he still sports.
Things look a bit tough for Bozzer too, if Uxbridge and South Ruislip disappears off the political map as has been suggested.
One of the funniest aspects of this is that the whole idea of the changes was to wipe out Labour as a force in the Commons. The Boundaries Commission claims to be neutral, but my mate Stuart claims to be a penguin pickerupper, and that’s not true either. If the changes are to go ahead, the House will have to vote them through, and I can’t see Gorge or Boz heading for the Aye lobby.