Those of you who have been with me for a while will be aware of my attitude to astrology. I had my first rant about the subject way back in 2012, and I went to town a bit.

This week, the crap hit the fan again, and it was thrown by an article in Cosmopolitan, which stated that NASA had kyboshed the whole idea by pointing out a/ the presence of a thirteenth constellation, Ophiucus, that the Sumerians had ignored in order to make it easier to divide up the Sun’s path against the celestial orb, and b/ that the effect of precession means all the star signs are out by a month, so if you think you’re a Taurus you’re actually an Aries.

Not too surprisingly, there was an outcry from the hucksters who prey on the feeble minded, pretty much telling NASA where it could shove it. NASA responded with gentle humour, and merely said, ‘The article was about astronomy. Astrology isn’t a science.’

There are some interesting philosophical points here, because the charlatans said that despite the uncertainty, you should stick with the sign you’ve always had. You might feel that of course they would say that, or they’d been shown up for the frauds and manipulators that they truly are, or as just plain wrong.

But what if you were born prematurely? James Gill, a Canadian, was born on May 20th 1987. That means by his actual date of birth he’s on the Taurus/Gemini cusp, which is astrologyspeak for ‘Weeeeelllllllll, a bit of both, really. You know how it is.’

However, he was 128 days premature, so his birth date would have been September 25th. That means he was destined to become a Libra. Which is he? By the way, I’ll wager the farm that no astrologer or other shyster predicted that he’d be that premature, and that against the odds he’d survive.

Then we get to a trickier problem where two wholly different but equally misguided belief systems intersect. There’s that mad bastard Mike Pence in the US. He’s the raving loonie* who reckons that when a woman menstruates she may be losing a viable blastocyte, so she’s having an abortion, and the event should be ‘registered.’ I’m not making that up.

From his Bible-punching point of view, life begins at conception. That then puts Mr Gill, who was conceived on April 23rd, or thereabouts, back in the Taurus camp, but only just. Get the sums wrong, and gestation is notoriously difficult to gauge, he might be an Aries/Taurus cusp. With all those personalities crammed into a small space, he must be like Zuul from Ghostbusters.

And people wonder why I have no truck with astrology, or the Mike Pence School of Religion.

*For those of you who missed it, said raving loonie is TFF’s VP running mate.