A couple of years ago I railed about the use of the ‘C’ word before the start of December. It was a diatribe about the ludicrous cost and overspending associated with the ‘C’ word. As I’m determined not to post anything about the ‘C’ word till next month (if then) I’ll have a rant about something else, another example of over-indulgence.

It now costs in excess of 200 smackers to stage a child’s birthday party. That’s a whole passel of cash. I’ve never spent that on a party for an adult. We staged our wedding reception for less, though that was admittedly a good while ago.

Here’s how it breaks down. Nearly eight quid for invitations and thank you notes. Thank you notes cost money? What’s wrong with good old fashioned notepaper? That’s really inexpensive.

Get your hand in your pocket for the £12 that you’re going to spend on your nipper’s party outfit. I don’t think all the clothes I’ve got in my wardrobe are worth that. And over a tenner is a lot to spend on something your little treasure will puke over after OD’ing on Coke and cake.

Talking of cake. That’ll set you back over £15. Really? That has to be shop bought. Get off your arse and bake and decorate one yourself. Milly Molly Mandy can give you a hand and have some fun.

Party bags. Thirteen quid. When I was a brat we got set home with a bit of cake (see above) wrapped in a serviette. I’m pretty sure my mum didn’t splash over 12 quid on table decorations and tableware either. Paper plates were the way to go.

The food that’s going onto that lavishly decorated table is gonna cost ya too. £34 to be precise. I suspect that’s an underestimate actually, if you ship the little tykes to Mackey D’s for an E-numberfest. The days of jelly and ice cream are apparently long gone.

But you won’t be doing that if you’ve blown the thick end of 50 pounds on the venue hire, in order to get the best possible outcome from the near 80 quid’s worth of entertainment you’re laying on for the tiny treasures. You want some value for money, don’t you?

By the way, this grand total of nearly 220 notes doesn’t even include the present. Perhaps the other parents can be persuaded to help you out here if you have the gall to ask them. I’ve written about that before too.