Since it’s the last day of the Cheer Peppers exercise, something a bit lighthearted


This is a game I occasionally play when bored. It was developed by me after the revelation a few years back that the Cambridges are the nation’s favourite choice for dinner party guests . This got me thinking, which is in and of itself quite an achievement.

It’s called Bar Room Brawl. It’s easy to play. All you have to do is imagine a chance encounter between two fictional characters that you believe would end in tears because the people are so incompatible. They can be of either sex, you may or may not like them as individuals, but they simply are not going to get on.

Here’s a few to get things rolling.

Kay Scarpetta, icy cool analytical ME, passionate lover of Benton Wesley


Madeline Basset the beautiful airhead from the Jeeves and Wooster tales, who is so insufferably dippy she thinks raindrops are fairies’ tears

That might not work. Nor would this one.

Kate Brannigan, wisecracking, self reliant kickarse PI from Val McDermid


John Self, the drunken, sexist ne’er-do-well from Money by Martin Amis

I reckon Kate would flatten him about five minutes in.

Jack Reacher, hulking great ex Military cop, hardman, and righter of wrongs


Jerome K Jerome, George, and William Samuel Harris, the three idlers from Three Men in a Boat

Big Jack would lose patience I think. Harris at one point loses a fight with a swan while he’s drunk.

Any other suggestions?