I expect to be just as grumpy in 2017 as I have been in 2016. Possibly even more so. Hence I started early.

I was in my local watching the rolling news on the Beeb. Enter a complete stranger, one of the legions of part-time drinkers who clutter the place up in the Christmas/New Year period. He looked at the television.

‘That Obama, he’s fucked up with the Russians, hasn’t he?’

‘Oh, I don’t think so. If you have solid evidence that those 35 men interfered in the democratic running of your country, it seems reasonable to me to do something about it.’

‘Hmm. Fucked up with Israel too, hasn’t he?’

‘Since Israel is breaking international laws, it’s also not unreasonable to be displeased with the people in power there. Add in the fact that Netanyahu is being investigated for bribery and corruption, and that he’s heading up the government despite his rival being elected, I think that’s a reasonable stance to take.’

Exit stout party in a state of high dudgeon. Well, I didn’t ask him to make an arse of himself now did I?

I hope 2017 treats you well, but me? I’m going to strap myself for a very rough ride.