Let’s take it as read that TFF is the most revolting person in the Western world, and it pains me to accept that he’s even worse than Gorgeous George, or Farrago, or even Odious. He’s a complete shit. Please don’t bother to contradict me, because I’ll leave your comments in place so others can see just how bloody stupid you are. You’ll be pilloried.

Having accepted that, I now have to confess to something. I feel rather sorry for Melania. Not just because she has to wake up next to a noxious bastard whose pillow is smeared with fake tan and whose hair is dragging on the floor. Not because she’s married to a narcissistic wanker. TFF didn’t even consult her about his decision to run for president.  All of these are of her own making and she knew what she was doing when she signed up for the gig. Arm candy babymomma and a stack of money were what she signed up for.

What she didn’t sign up for is the relentless personal attacks on her, particularly about her appearance. There has been so much crap going down about her clothes and how she lacks elegance, blah blah blah. It doesn’t matter, guys! It’s immaterial!

Once again we have a woman being judged solely on her appearance, and there was a recent court case in the UK about that very topic. TFF is ugly as all get out, but if he was a compassionate, thoughtful, inclusive president that wouldn’t matter either. That’s a big ‘if’ but it is true. A lot of his ugliness is internal, which reflects in how he operates, so he’s fair game. Melania is not.

Worse still, a lot of the people bitching about her lack of sartorial elegance are the very selfsame people who huffed and puffed when the goptards moronically criticised Michelle Obama for her bare arms. You can’t have it both ways, people.

I also don’t give a rat’s arse that she used to be a stripper. We’ve all got things in our past that others would disapprove of, and I don’t disapprove of strippers. I disapprove of the audience.

While were at it, let’s lay off Barron. He’s ten years old for goodness sake. It’s not his fault if his father is in the running for World’s Biggest Pillock. By all means take a pop at Eric (bleurgh) and Donald Jr, because the two of them are obnoxious and influential, and have to take the rough with the privileged smooth, but don’t hammer the crap out of a schoolchild who (so far) has done nothing to deserve it. The poor little sod has enough on his plate without being trolled for no good reason.

Right, that’s that off my chest.