Here we go again. Busy campers are happy campers, as Sir Billy Butlin was wont to say.

Trok

  1. An unspecified but considerable unit of distance. Thus if you go to view a house you’re thinking of buying, you might say ‘I like it, but it’s a hell of a trok to the pub.’
  2.  One of those rinky-dinky basket things you use to gather flowers or fruit in the garden. A corruption of trug
  3. A huge biker with muscles in his spit, lots of tattoos, a low forehead, and who is prone to random acts of senseless violence

Greb

  1. To grope a woman’s bottom in a crowded lift, bus, tube train etc
  2. To produce a docker’s omelette
  3. A huge biker with muscles in his spit, lots of tattoos, a low forehead, and who is prone to random acts of senseless violence

Tweedle

  1. One of those irritating guitar solos so beloved of prog rockers
  2. A thicko
  3. A crocheted toilet roll cover in the shape of a crinolined lady

Rimple

  1. Old age pensioner
  2. One of the little dents on a golf ball
  3. To muss up someone’s artfully contrived hairstyle

Spad

  1. The bloody minded castor on a shopping trolley that oscillates wildly to and fro as you progress round the supermarket
  2. A small area of lighter paint on your car caused by a neglected bird turd
  3. Someone who is indecisive, a vacillator

Twirlies

  1. Old age pensioners
  2. Alcohol induced fits of vertigo
  3. Ringlets that someone habitually fiddles with

Dunkie

  1. A biscuit of the perfect size to be dipped in your cup of coffee or tea, and of a consistency that means it won’t collapse into your beverage or lap
  2. The single punch that floors your opponent in a brawl
  3. A contraceptive sheath, a condom

Dibble

  1. A piece of wood you used to stir some paint and which is still lurking in your shed or garage
  2. The police
  3. The movement of a beerbelly when the owner laughs heartily

Brassic

  1. A bit tarty in appearance
  2. Totally broke
  3. A cold wind

Sandwich box derby

  1. The rush for the best seats on a train being pulled by a particularly famous locomotive
  2. A motor race for Minis and Fiat 500s
  3. The cross country event in a men’s pentathlon

And the answers are:

Trok

A huge, ugly, hairy psychopath

Greb

Same as a trok

Tweedle

A thicko. Presumably derived from Tweedledum. I don’t know. But also a horribly twee toilet roll cover, so 3 is also correct

Rimple

An old age pensioner. Derived from the Dutch word for a wrinkle

Spad

The rogue castor. Really annoying, aren’t they? Hence also somebody who is indecisive

Twirlies

Definitions 1 and 2 are correct. Definition 1 comes from the phrase ‘Is it too early to use my bus pass?’ when boarding a PSV before 9:30 am. Definition 2 is obvious.

Dunkie

Number 3 is correct. Now you can see why I object to this as a corruption of my given name

Dibble

The police. Must be derived from Officer Dibble in Top Cat, mustn’t it?

Brassic

Completely broke, not even in possession of a snecklifter. A corruption of boracic lint= skint

Sandwich box derby

The racing formula for Minis and Fiat 500s

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