Two public figures who are at numbers 1 and 3 on my shitlist were in the news last week. Not an edifying display from either.

First up we had that mad bastard TFF saying that GCHQ had, at Obama’s request, bugged Trump Tower during the runup to last year’s election. (As an aside, somebody pointed out to me that this was unlikely, since GCHQ’s remit is intelligence gathering.) TFF did his usual Twitter rampage, ignoring the awkward fact that Obama, like all American presidents, has no direct access to UK intelligence services, so unless he’d sneaked into Cheltenham wearing dark glasses and a false beard he’d have had no luck at all.

Uncharacteristically, the normally reclusive GCHQ put a flea in somebody’s ear when they made a definitive statement that nothing of the sort had happened. Undeterred, TFF threw Sean Spicer to the wolves, and went on record as stating categorically that that was exactly what had happened. Since the NSA also said that there had been no tapping, Spicer said that the NSA hadn’t denied it had happened, they just didn’t believe it had happened, which ranks up there with alternative facts as a load of bollocks.

Best thing was that the whole fiasco was based on an appearance on Fox News, that bastion of accurate reporting, by Andrew Napolitano, a retired judge with no security experience, and with a colourful reputation as a conspiracy theorist with no interest in backing up statements with facts, much like his orange acolyte. He got thrown to the wolves as well, along with Fox News.

Best bit about this was that TFF made a feeble attempt at a joke when he met Angela Merkel, saying they had at least one thing in common, referring to the CIA’s tapping her phone a few years back. The look she gave him could have put cows off giving milk. Mind you, she was probably also a bit pissed off too that the permatanned boor didn’t have the basic courtesy to shake her hand.

Gorgeous George has popped up again, this time as editor of the London Evening Standard. This is addition to his five other jobs, four of which seem to require economic expertise. Not bad for a loser with mere O level maths, who was ridiculed for his pasty tax proposals back in 2012.

Here’s the thing though. Being an editor will be a four day a week gig. Then there’s the one day a week gig with Blackrock (which nets him a princely 650 gees a year). Thus he’s committed to five days a week. Now if I were his constituents (he’s still an MP) I’d be asking how exactly will he find to time to represent us and earn his 74 grand a year plus exes.

And let’s not start on how he intends to allow the paper to ‘say what we like about the Government.’ It’s hard to see how he can maintain impartiality, or allow his staffers to do anything but be anti the UK leaving the EU.