This will be a quickie, since it’s Sunday and you have better things to do with your time.

If you don’t live in the UK, this may come as a bit of a shock to you, but yesterday a woman got married! Yes she did. Amazing, no?

The reaction from the redtops, and even the soberer Times and Telegraph, would lead you to expect that this was a harbinger of the Second Coming. Why did they get all breathless and sweaty? Because this woman was Pippa Middleton.

Still confused? Ms Middleton as was is no less a personage than the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge, the fragrant Catherine, aka Kate, but only by the press, not her immediate family. She’s famous mainly for her arse upstaging her sister’s wedding, and for her vacuous book about organising a party. ‘If you intend to serve soup, you’ll need mugs or bowls.’ That vacuous.

She pushed the boat out for her own nuptials, with a £100,000 rented glass marquee and a fleet of Range Rovers to ferry guests from her family’s church to the reception.

Vacuous and vain. Not to mention vulgar.

PS This ostentatious bash is being followed live on the Beeb as I type (Saturday). Hardly a peep about TFF toadying to the Saudis.