Three IT related stories to enlighten your day. Or maybe not. Not the first one.

The Daily Telegraph, that bastion of rightwing bias (and excellent sports coverage, so I am informed), led with the following headline on Friday. ‘Fake web accounts boosting Labour vote.’ Fake social media accounts run by bots churn out positive messages about Jeremy Corbyn ‘thousands of times a day.’

Well well well. Whoever would have thought that? Apart from the Torygraph? And of course, the Toffs would eschew any such action. I expect that slimy Ozzie Lynton Crosby for one was vigorously opposed to the idea. Perish the very thought.

Some more transatlantic action. After TFF made his titanic ‘covfefe’ blunder on Twitter*, we found that according to an audit by a journalist running some fraud checking software, the mad bastard in the White House has been telling porkies. His Twitter account shows he has about 31M followers, but guess what? The Orange Gibbon has a real following of a mere 51% of that**.

Something a bit more off the wall now. Before I launch into this, I must make clear my admiration for many of the denizens of Utah. I regard my time in Salt Lake City as pleasing and intellectually stimulating. However, get out into the boonies, and you can hear the banjos tuning up. Do not, under any circumstances, have your car break down in places such as La Verkin.

Many of the people outside the confines on the major conurbations aren’t big talkers. They have three conversational gambits.

‘Yep.’

‘Nope.’

‘Mebbe.’

It therefore came as a surprise to me to find that a Utah man, Chris Sevier, had a ruling against him by Utah’s AAG, David Wolf. Mr Sevier, who had previously tried to sue Apple over the fact its devices can show porn, had applied to marry his laptop, on the grounds that it amounted to a same sex marriage.

David Wolf ruled the marriage would be illegal since the laptop couldn’t consent. He then showed a bit of a sense of humour when explaining his ruling, or at least I hope he did. ‘Furthermore, even if that were not the case, unless Sevier’s computer has attained the age of 15, it is too young to marry under the laws of Utah.’

By the way, if you think that’s barking, Amazon’s Alexa has apparently had 250,000 proposals, and she’s only three years old.

*I’m not going into too much detail on his self-serving bombast on climate change, or I’ll be here all day. Except the next footnote.

**If he gets upset by that, then he’s going to be very tearful indeed when he realises that the entire population of the world, apart from the 15M, hates him. Maybe not even 15M. I know a stack of people who follow him just to be rude to him.

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