I’ll start with Gwyneth Paltrow again. I know, I know, but she and Goop.com truly keep on giving.

The mad, if talented, bat had been making some extraordinary claims on the website about Body Vibe stickers, which ‘have become a major obsession around Goop HQ.’ If Goop staff are using them, I’m not, just on principle.

It’s interesting (to me) to know what they do, though. You wear them near your heart, or on your arm, to, and I quote, ‘…rebalance the energy frequency in our bodies.’ Not bad, eh? And all for the paltry sum of $120 for 24, ie $5 a pop. Not sure why you need to keep changing them. Maybe they just get tired, the poor wee mites. Oh, and you need to wear them three at a time. Fifteen dollars a day to rebalance your energy frequency. That’s a real first world solution to a non-existent first world problem, isn’t it?

The blurb about them stated that they were ‘made with the same conductive carbon material NASA uses to line spacesuits so that they can monitor an astronaut’s vitals during wear.’ That sounds impressively techie, doesn’t it? NASA comes of age. New Age, maybe? There’s only one problem. NASA doesn’t use a conductive carbon lining in its spacesuits.

Let’s now consult Mark Shelhamer, formerly chief scientist at NASA’s human research division, so he may know a thing or two. He was refreshingly candid about the whole thing. ‘It’s a load of bullshit.’ He also was one of the chorus of NASA staffers referring to ‘snake oil.’ Good to know it’s not just me.

Shelhamer also asked the question that I’d had lurking in my head. ‘If they promote healing, why do they leave marks on the skin when they are removed?’ You all know what it’s like when you rip off a plaster. Goopers have to suffer for their art I suppose.

A rather more sombre tale now. Rebecca Burger died this week. I’d never heard of her, though you might have. If you have, you’ll know she was a French fitness blogger, but she died of a suspected heart attack. No, I’m not gloating*. What makes the case interesting is the putative cause.

Ms Burger was struck in the chest by an exploding aerosol of whipped cream. You, like myself, might wonder at a fitness blogger having such a thing in her household, and that it exploded. The latter point can be addressed quite easily. Apparently exploding whipped cream cans are not that rare, and there have been reports of physical trauma, eye injuries, and tinnitus resulting.

*Though I did smile a bit when Jim Fixx, the father of modern jogging, died of a heart attack at the relatively early age of 52.

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