My mate Kev going off on one again. You’ll get my contribution later.
June in the UK and we’ve had some lovely weather. Traditional time to hear those church bells ringing in the countryside. Nice day for a white wedding, as Billy Idol once said.
That’s unless you have to suffer some DJ shockers at the reception. The ones that will be played at some stage and make you go outside for a fag or a wee.
Here’s my top 10 wedding day songs to avoid, in no particular order.
Zoom by The Commodores. It’s just slow sloppy and boring. Weddings are meant to be happy.
YMCA by Village People. Always played at weddings. Of all kinds. Enough said.
Staying Alive by The Bee Gees. Really don’t need to hear a song sung by a geezer having his bollocks squeezed, especially if you happen to be the groom.
(Could You Be The ) Most Beautiful Girl In The World by Prince. Inappropriate. Even mingers get married. *
Macarena by Los del Rio. There should be a public stoning for the singers of this song. Form an orderly queue please!
The Lady In Red by Chris De Burgh. Crap song, crap singer. And in red? White at a wedding surely?
Holding Back The Years by Simply Red.
Another slow sad one that makes you want to stuff your head in a big bowl of left over trifle.
Sadly still always played!
La Bamba by Los Lobos or Richie Valens. Should be lined up with Los del Rio for the public stoning.
Celebration by Kool and the Gang. A real shocker usually played after the traditional first dance. Wee fag and pint break for this one. And it’s Crap.
Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis.
Bleeding love? Bleedin’ awful song. Definite no no for me!
So there’s my top 10.
Avoid at all costs or you may end up with a bit of Tammy Wynette. D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
*Kev, I rather suspect this comment may cause some controversy.