Other people’s lives are a complete mystery to me. I readily admit this. You only need to look at TFF, the gibbering idiot in the White House, and the next six people in the line of succession, to appreciate that some people just don’t work right. Not to mention the people who voted in the GOPtards, and in that group I include Bernie supporters who refused to vote for Hillary. They beggared belief.

It’s not just across the Pond that people perplex me. Take the case of Richard Wilmot and Viki Maughan. Somebody needs to bang his head to knock some bloody sense into him.

The Wilmots, as they were then, divorced in 2001. They’re still fighting over the divorce settlement. The settlement was issued in 2001, and Mr Wilmot is refusing to comply, because he claims that an 18 year old girl, born during his marriage, is actually the child of his then wife’s lover. On this basis he’s denying any responsibility for her maintenance during the last 16 years.

Here’s the best bit. There was a paternity test in 2000, and he claims the result was ‘flawed.’ By that I assume he means he got named and shamed but he’s fighting like a gaffed fish to wriggle out of things.

With a court case this long involving the Court of Appeal and QCs on both sides*, it would have been cheaper for him to cough the dosh and not appear to be such a tosser. A tight-fisted tosser at that.

The only people who are benefiting here are the lawyers. Given QCs in private practice can earn upwards of £1,000,000 a year, they could never be said to be cheap. Even at the average of £300,000 they’re pretty ferocious financial predators.

Back when my wife and I separated and ultimately divorced, one of the first things we agreed on was that there was no way that we’d allow the legal vultures to start circling. We sat down like grownups, and talked through what the two of us wanted. I drafted an agreement (there was a clause in it that neither of us, at any point in the future, would challenge the validity of what we had agreed), Alison made a couple of tweaks, we signed copies in front of witnesses, and there it was. Done.

As Mr Punch says, ‘That’s the way to do it.’

*He also claims he’s trying to protect his current wife from the ‘wreckage of the past,’ which doesn’t really pass muster as an argument, does it?