I was a bit out of sorts today (Friday) and sought inspiration from my back catalogue. In 2014 I had a poke at some silly season health scares. The salt content of cheeses. Health warnings on wine bottles. Children not heading the ball when playing footie. Blingy earrings making your ears age*.

The press are currently screaming blue murder about ‘poisoned eggs’ sourced from Holland and Belgium. It’s a bit hyperbolic, since the poisoning consists of the presence of a pesticide called fipronil. In the UK this is not allowed to be used near animal stock. That’s it.

The amount of fipronil in any individual egg is vanishingly small, but this hasn’t stopped various supermarkets withdrawing products such as sandwiches, salads, and sandwich fillers. Good news here is that it’s the upmarket guys, including Waitrose, who caught a cold. Always nice to see toffs being spooked, however needlessly.

British Lion Eggs, the accreditation organisation for egg production in the UK, is of course crowing (see what I did there?) about this. I think they may need to put their own house in order before sniping (I’m good, aren’t I?) at others.

Meanwhile the Food Standards Agency has added fuel to the fire by saying the risk to the public is negligible. When Selwyn Gummer used his children in a shameless photo op and forced them to eat burgers on camera at the height of the BSE crisis, he did a lot more harm than good.

I can’t say I’m too fussed here. I certainly don’t adhere to my conspiracy theorist friend’s belief that it was ‘poisoned eggs’ and not norovirus that caused the outbreak of illness at the World Athletic Championships this week. He thinks there’s been a cover up.

The Daily Express online edition also thinks there’s been a cover up. ‘European Commission KNEW about contaminated eggs LAST MONTH but said nothing!’ You have to hand it to them.

*No, I didn’t make that up. Some dimwit really did claim that.